


Second Chances

by Mycaptainswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:52:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycaptainswan/pseuds/Mycaptainswan
Summary: This is a Captain Swan story set after season 6 where the main plot line is that Emma loses a baby. Follow Killian and Emma's adventures as they try to mend broken hearts. (Contains angst, love, loss, mention of miscarriage)





	1. Baby Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is the completed "second chances" story, firstly posted on wattpad and now posted here! This story has been written over several years (you might notice a change in style). I hope you enjoy!

"Never again am I babysitting Robin's baby" said Killian as he passed out on the couch.  
Emma and him had agreed on babysitting Rose, Robin's daughter, so that he and Regina could have a night out.  
As she was a baby, she liked to cry and make as much noise as possible. Killian was wondering if Zelena didn't give her powers in order to scream even louder than other babies.

Emma soon joined Killian on the couch, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Oh come on, you can't deny that she is the most adorable baby you've ever seen" Emma said.

"That she is, but aren't I glad I don't have one of those" added Killian as he rubbed his eyes.

"It's called a baby, Killian. And what do you mean you don't want a baby?" Asked Emma a bit concerned.

"I mean that I can't imagine my life right now with a baby screaming at 3am needing to be changed! I like our life just how it is now! You, me and no one else" answered Killian as he began to kiss Emma in the neck, teasingly.

"Ooh, right me too..." She said in a low voice.

Killian didn't even suspect a thing, Emma had taken a pregnancy test two days ago, thinking she was pregnant. The test came back positive. She was so thrilled and couldn't wait to tell Killian. She has an idea first, she arranged with Robin to babysit Rose, to see how he really was with babies and planned to tell him the good news when they came back home.  
Nothing went according to plan, Killian didn't want to have kids,..  
Emma was devastated and didn't know what to do.

The next morning, she went to the sherif's station, like every morning, she did as if nothing had happened but deep down she was hurt and lost.

Suddenly she got a call from David:  
"Emma you have to come to the town line ! We have a problem" he said as she sensed panic in his voice.

"I'm on my way" Emma said as she grabbed her car keys.

She started driving and while she was driving, she got lost in her thoughts about what Killian told her last night.

And then it happened....

Emma woke up the next day in the hospital, only remembering bits and pieces of what happened. She saw the car crashing in hers, the ambulance coming, dr.Whale's face.

A nurse came in and asked if she felt better. Emma nodded weakly.

That is when she saw Killian rushing into her room and pulling her into a hug.

"Emma, I was so worried about you ! I got a call from the hospital! I thought you were dead!"  
He said on the verge of crying.

"You don't have to worry about me, Killy" Emma said to her husband.

Dr. Whale chose this moment to come in to check up on her.  
"Emma, your vitals are stable and you should go home in two days. I have a bad news. Unfortunately y-your baby didn't survive the accident, I'm so sorry" he said truly sorry for her.

"Emma what is he talking about ?" Asked Killian rather concerned.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter now does it. You got what you wanted, no one else but me" Emma said bursting into tears.


	2. Troubled Paradise

It was a week after they had gone home from the hospital.  
Emma was still heartbroken and weak.  
Killian on the other hand was lost, he didn't know what to think anymore.  
He felt guilty as if the accident was his fault, as if he had wished it happened as he didn't want to have any kids.

"Are you ever going to look me in the eyes?" Asked Emma softly as Killian was putting pillows behind her back for support.

"Of course love" he answered in a shy way as he looked away from her scars and her eyes.

He felt tears threatening to fall as a knot began to form in his belly. He couldn't take the sight of his wife hurt because of him.

"Killian, come here" she said almost threatening.

He executed himself and sat next to her, not even touching her.

"It's not your fault Killian, look at me, it is okay" Emma told him as she held his head between her hands.

"I know" Killian said as his voice cracked and a single tear rolled on his cheek.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks had gone by in storybrooke, the new villain in town was still not defeated and the heroes spent every moment trying to find a way to get rid of him.

There was still a hero that didn't do her part of the job in order to save the town, the savior Emma hadn't done much in the last few weeks to help the citizen of Storybrooke. She hadn't moved from the couch, she spent all of her days laying in it, watching some tv shows and eating chips. She had gotten to a point where no one recognized her, not even Henry had succeeded to convince her to move from her couch.

"Emma, why don't we go to the library today and help Belle with her books?"  
Killian asked softly as he caressed he forehead.

"Belle....Belle who just had her baby girl..." Emma said weakly, still trying to fill the void created by the loss of her baby.  
"Killian, why would you even say that? You know damn well I'm not ready" she replied angrily.

"Well love, it's been 3 months now, I think you should be ready by now, don't you think?" He shouted at her, tired of seeing her slowly perish.

"Get...out"   
Emma answer furious and hurt by what he had said. She wasn't ready and she thought he knew it, she thought that forgiving him for something he hadn't even done would help her cope in a way, she was mistaken, it only made her even sadder and angrier towards Killian. She didn't even know where this anger came from...maybe it came from Killian trying to apologize so many times and her forgiving him and comforting him for something. He didn't do, to make him feel better, to "save" him, even thought she felt as if she needed the saving.

"Swan, I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to"  
Hook tried to make up it to her by apologizing, he knew very well it was useless.

"You, out of all people know what death means, know what it feels like to loose someone you love, to see your future taken away from you, I've brought you back from hell for God's sake Killian, why can't you understand that I lost my future when I lost my baby, I lost someone I love, why can't you let me have my time to mourn ?" She shouted, getting up from the couch and having a look of anger mixed with pain.

"If you really think you are the only one who lost someone that night, you are really delusional, I lost her too that night Emma, I suffered too"   
Tears threatened to roll down Killian's face as he panted, tired of shouting so much.

"You didn't even want this baby! You might say you did want this baby but deep down I saw in you eyes you were relieved, yes Killian, relieved!" Emma blurted out, tears streaming down her face.

After a moment of silence, Killian announced in a soft but pained voice:  
"If you need me, I'll be at Granny's"


	3. Mama knows best

Killian had been staying at Granny's for weeks now; him and Emma didn't talk much these days. Everybody in Storybrooke clearly knew something was wrong but no one dared to do something about it, they were scared to get involved and get hurt by either Emma or Killian. In the course of these few weeks, the couple had drifted apart, not only from each other but also from the people they loved and the citizens of Storybrooke.

-David, this is getting out of hand, we need to do something.

Snow said to her husband as they watched Neal play in his crib.

-Snow, as much as I want to help Emma, our daughter, this is between her and Hook, we can't interfere and you know it.

David replied always trying to find the best solution to please his wife.

-David, our daughter is suffering and I can't let that happen, I will help her myself if I have to.

She replied determined.

-You know very well she won't accept our help, she is too proud to admit she is in pain and that she needs help. She is strong Snow; she will manage it by herself. Plus do you remember how she greeted us last time we tried to help her.

 

-Yeah, I do. Snow answered remembering how their daughter had treated them when they were trying to help her. Emma shut them down, she had put her walls up once again, like she usually did when she was scared and hurt.

-But I don't care, she continued, she is my daughter, she's been through a tough time and we've been neglecting her. My other baby needs my help.

Snow had said this turning towards Neal as if she was announcing she was going to save his sister.

Snow, more determined than ever was walking down Main Street. She got so lost in her thoughts she didn't even realize she bumped into someone.

-Careful where you walk, love.  
She heard a thick Irish accent and knew immediately whom she bumped into.

-Killian! She said surprised to see him finally out of Granny's dinner. W-what are you doing here? I mean, how are you? Snow asked a bit embarrassed, not knowing if she had to discuss "the" matter with him. After all, they weren't "mates", unlike him and David.

-Good, I'm good. Killian answered unsure as well as to what to answer to this question after such events.  
-I've been sailing a lot lately and umm other stuff.  
Killian added as he scratched the back of his head just like he always did when he was embarrassed.

Snow, noticing he wasn't that great at small talk, knew he wanted to ask how Emma was doing but something was holding him back.

Killian decided to head back to his ship before things got even more awkward.

-Well I might as well sail away now l-  
Killian started but was interrupted by Snow  
-Killian wait! I am going to Emma's now, maybe you'd like to join me?

-I am not so sure it's such a good idea, love; she doesn't want anything to do with me. She threw me out of the house and I'm pretty sure I ruined everything.

 

She noticed he was opening himself up to her and took the opportunity for him to reveal who he really was and what he was feeling.

-I'm sure she's changed her mind, she had time to think.  
She encouraged him with a small nod.

-You may be right and I couldn't hurt to try, right ?  
He asked unsure of the answer he might get.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Snow had taken matters in her hands and decided to spend some time with Killian alone before going back to her daughter's house.  
She knew she could only truly understand what the real issue was between the two of them if she talked to them separately. She was starting with Killian as her own flesh and blood had rejected her weeks ago, screaming at her that she didn't need the "hope speech". Snow wasn't about to be let down, if Emma didn't want the hope speech she was for sure going to give it to her daughter's other half.   
On the Jolly Roger, Hook did his best to clean up the mess he created over the months when he wasn't at home with Emma: you couldn't see the floor, filled with bottles of rum, dirty laundry, pictures of Emma, and the smell of old alcohol made Mary-Margaret want to run away as far as possible from this pirate ship. Snow took all the strength she had and sat down and patted the chair next to her, nodding at Hook indicating he had to sit down and listen to her talk.

-Killian, I know these last months were rough on your relationship with Emma, but how could this accident have driven you so far apart? I am trying to help, trying to find hope in this situation because once you have found the most precious love of all, true love, you have to keep it, to preserve it and keep it safe, just like the most perfect treasure.

-True love? I don't think I believe in true love anymore these days Hook said in a broken voice, not sure if he really meant these words. I promised myself to give the world and more to Emma, to have a future together, and I managed to ruin our future, our promise of happy beginning. All of that because of a stupid argument he continued, tears threatening to fall, his voice cracking. I should have run after her, stopped her from getting in her car, told her I loved her, told her I wanted a family, but I am too much of a coward. Maybe Rumple was right after all, I am a coward like him, maybe Pan was right as well, I am nothing but a pirate: I will never be enough for a person as pure and courageous as Emma. I should stop inflicting her pain and just leave now.  
Killian was now crying soft tears of broken love and anger. He was angry at himself for not being the man Emma deserved. His old demons were back to haunt him.

-Hook, I mean Killian. I cannot let you think such thoughts. I have seen my daughter evolve in such a positive way. I have seen her find love. A love she found in your arms. Yes at first I was reticent at the thought of my daughter dating a pirate but as the years passed I saw how happy you made her. Killian, your old self may have been a pirate, and a coward but the man standing in front of me today is a man who is brave, loving and cares for people. Hope is the most precious belief we can have, and i have hope that you and Emma will get through this hard time together. Because once you have found love, you have it forever. Understood?

-Aye Snow. Thank you.

Killian had been touched by Snow's words of wisdom. They had never been close but he could feel he had won her over just like he did with David. Snow and him were going to visit Emma the next week. He was nervous but felt confident with Snow by his side, like a mother he never had


	4. Dear Killian

After the talk Killian had with Snow on the Jolly Roger, they had agreed to go see Emma the following week but Killian felt that he needed to see his wife sooner than that. Something had changed within him, the mother-in-law and son discussion they had opened his eyes to the truth: he loved Emma more than anything in the world, he would gladly trade his ship for her for the third time and it was time for him to go where he belonged: home. He cracked open a bottle of rum to give him the courage he needed to face Emma and have a serious talk about what had happened over the last few months, not only the accident but also how they drifted apart and didn't talk to each other. 

"Bloody hell" he muttered as he left his beloved ship and made his way home to the house he lived in. He arrived at the white picked fence and held the house key in his hand firmly as if it would give him some courage. He made his way to the entrance of the house and turned the key and hoped Emma would be in the living room. When he entered the house he could notice how neatly everything was arranged, he could smell something cooking in the oven but he couldn't see Emma anywhere downstairs. 

"Emma ? Are you home ?" Killian questioned as he started to climb the stairs to make his way to the bedroom he used to share with Emma before he left. He cracked open the door and saw an empty room, it appeared no one was home. He let himself fall onto the bed and closed his eyes. Killian had hoped Emma would be home to finally have the inevitable talk but what he found instead was an empty home and a cold bed. He opened his eyes again and decided to take advantage of the fact that he was home to take a few clothes with him, he then went to the wardrobe and opened it. When he did, something fell, it was a ball of wrinkled paper. Killian picked it up and immediately recognised Emma's handwriting, it had seemed she had written a letter and then tried to get rid of it. He flattened the paper on the desk and started reading:

"Killian, you now have been gone for quite some time now, I miss your presence, I miss our late night talks, I miss teaching you how to use Netflix, I miss our breakfast together but most of all I miss you. When I told you I forgave you for the accident and the loss of our child, I lied. At the time I didn't forgive you yet, I was blaming you for what happened but now I know, I promise you I know this wasn't your fault I needed to blame someone just to be able to cope with the pain I felt when my future was taken from me. I was blinded by the pain, not seeing that we needed each other in order to survive, you are a survivor, I need you and instead we just pushed each other away. My walls go up when I am afraid of losing my happy ending and you know it but I also should have come to you because we need to lean on each other when things get tough, we need to stick with each other. I guess I am writing this to tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for the pain I inflicted you by pushing you away, by not trusting you and by not sharing my feelings. Killian I love you, you are my husband and I chose you to share my life with, you are the man I love and the man who loves me. 

Love, Emma"

By the time he finished reading the letter, Killian was softly crying at the words his wife had written for him. But he couldn't help but think: why didn't Emma give him this letter if she had forgiven him ? Why was it tossed and put away in the wardrobe if she needed him ? Killian thought to himself that maybe Emma had changed her mind about him.


	5. Daddy Charming

A few weeks earlier:

Emma followed Henry's advice to write down what she was feeling. So she did, she gave it a go and tried to see if writing down what she was feeling would help her cope with all the events of the past few months. She sat down at the desk in her bedroom, chose the prettiest paper she had and started writing:

"Killian, you now have been gone for quite some time now, I miss your presence, I miss our late night talks, I miss teaching you how to use Netflix, I miss our breakfast together but most of all I miss you. When I told you I forgave you for the accident and the loss of our child, I lied. At the time I didn't forgive you yet, I was blaming you for what happened but now I know, I promise you I know this wasn't your fault I needed to blame someone just to be able to cope with the pain I felt when my future was taken from me. I was blinded by the pain, not seeing that we needed each other in order to survive, you are a survivor, I need you and instead we just pushed each other away. My walls go up when I am afraid of losing my happy ending and you know it but I also should have come to you because we need to lean on each other when things get tough, we need to stick with each other. I guess I am writing this to tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for the pain I inflicted you by pushing you away, by not trusting you and by not sharing my feelings. Killian I love you, you are my husband and I chose you to share my life with, you are the man I love and the man who loves me.

Love, Emma"

She sat back in the chair, staring at what she had written. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she did so. Emma was never one to open up and to share her feelings. She knew she was taking a huge step by writing down such vulnerable thoughts but she also knew that every word she wrote down was true; she meant it all. She missed Killian, she hadn't felt his warm embrace for a long time now and she needed it to change. She decided this thing, whatever it was, between them needed to stop. It was not a healthy relationship anymore. Pain, anger, sadness had blinded them both to see that they needed each other to overcome this.

Emma took a deep breath and decided to read her letter again. Her hands started shaking when she realized that she could not get through with this, it was too much. She was literally holding her emotions in her own hands. She felt her walls come up again, those walls she fought so hard to bring down. Killian brought her walls down, he showed her how to love and to be open to happiness and she had found happiness with him. Ever since the incident, she had felt her walls go up again; in times of difficulty they tended to go back up. She only knew one way to cope with her vulnerability, she ran. That was what she had always done her whole life, she ran from her feelings. She thought she could take of her problems alone and running away always seemed like the perfect plan. She hadn't run away in a long time, but now running away seemed like the ideal situation.

Emma got up and crushed the piece of paper between her hands and quickly threw it in her wardrobe thinking no one would find it. She rushed out of the house, took her car keys and started driving. Instinctively she drove in the direction of the docks where she liked to go to think; she found that the view of the sea and the scent of salt calmed her. Quickly realizing where she was headed, she turned around and drove towards the edge of Storybrooke. Emma was not ready yet to see Killian, she needed more time, writing the letter drained her emotionally. She finally found a spot in the forest and parked her car there, knowing very well that no one would find her. She turned the engine off and took a deep breath.

"I wish I could turn back time and go back to the moments where I was blissfully happy" Emma had whispered to herself trying to recall all the moments in her life where she was happy. She was hoping that somehow reminding herself all those moments would lead her to believe that she could be happy again, that this was just a rough (really rough) patch. All the moments she had summoned were happy moments of her being surrounded by her family and her friends, the people who made her feel loved, appreciated and who valued her for who she was. They loved every part of her: they loved her as the savior; they loved her when she was the Dark One; they loved her in her moments of strength as well as her moments of weakness. They loved her flaws and they loved her strengths. They loved her and all of her.

Emma was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't hear the footsteps coming up to the car. She jumped at the sound of a light knock on the window of her car.

"Jesus! Dad, you scared the hell out of me" Emma said as she rolled down the window to talk to her dad.

"I am sorry Emma, I didn't mean to scare you, I just needed to talk to you" David said as she made his way to the other side of the car to get in the passenger seat. Once he was seated, he turned to Emma, took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly. He continued by saying:

"I am worried about you Emma, I know these past few months have been tough but you need to talk to someone, we have given you the time and space you needed to recover but we just..." His voice trailed off, the words stuck; David wasn't too sure how to continue the conversation. He knew Emma too well; he knew that pushing her to open up to him would just result in her putting up her walls.

"I see you talked to mom" Emma answered, knowing very well that her father just wanted her well-being.

"I am all right dad, I promise you, I just need to clear my head, you know, I promise you things will go back to normal, I just need a little bit more time" Emma continued while she looked at her dad and could see in his eyes all the concern he had for her but she also saw something else, she saw love.

"Snow and I talked a lot after she had an encounter with Hook, we believe that you need to choose whatever feels right to you, but we also know that you cannot go through this alone, and don't forget: you are not the only one that lost something that night Emma, Killian lost two people he loved" David believed that these words of comfort would make her see what was in front of her: she needed help and she needed her husband to get through this difficult period. It had taken quite some time for David to accept Hook but when he saw how much he had changed for the better, he could not deny it anymore: Hook was a good man who loved his daughter.

Emma turned her face to David with anger and pain in her voice:

"You think I don't know that? You really think I just decided to drift apart from Killian? I don't know how it happened, these past few months have been the hardest on me and when I needed the most the people I loved, I pushed them away. I tried writing my feelings down, but it was too much dad, I need help, I need my husband back, I need my life back"

Emma was now crying out of anger towards herself but also out of pure sadness.

David looked at her powerless and decided that sometimes actions speak louder than words as he embraced her in a hug that meant that she was safe in her father's arms.

"Let's go home"


	6. Captain Cobra

Killian was still sitting down, the letter in his hands as tears rolled down his cheek. He was still in disbelief; he did not understand why Emma had not come to him. He shot up when he heard the front door open and close.

"Emma?" he questioned, hopeful for a positive answer as he ran down the stairs in the hopes that she was waiting for him downstairs.

"Oh Hook, I'm sorry I didn't know you would be home". It was Henry who had gone home from being at Regina's all day.

"Oh hi, lad, yeah I came home just to take a few clothes from home" Killian managed to say, with disappointment painted on his face.

Him and Henry had gotten closer over the years. It took Henry a while to accept him into his life considering that he was a pirate and that at the beginning of Emma and Killian's relationship, Henry wasn't too sure of his intentions with is mom but now that he saw how happy he made her, he gladly accepted him. However, since the accident, they had grown apart, Henry was too busy trying to take care of his mom, to maintain somewhat of a normal life in Storybrooke, with his girlfriend of his own.

"What are you holding in your hands?" Henry had asked Hook as he managed to snatch the piece of paper out of his hands, when he read quickly the words, he understood what it was about and why Killian seemed so distressed and sad.

Killian finally managed to mutter something that resembled an answer:

"It, it is a letter I found upstairs, a letter from your mother to me but for some reason she didn't give it to me. Why do you think she wrote it, if she just decided to hide it and not give it to me?"

There was desperation in his voice and he sought to find answers from the lad, he knew Emma and him were close, he figured they had talked about the situation.

"Hook, I know we are not the best mates but after my dad died, and you married my mom, well, you are the closest thing I have to a father-figure." Henry knew that it had touched Killian to hear him say those words; he knew that when he married Emma, there was this unspoken contract that Henry came with Emma and he chose her and the consequences of it. He had to love him as well, and Killian had nothing but love and affection for Henry, in many ways he reminded him of Baelfire when he was younger. Before Killian could say anything, Henry kept on going:

"I know why she wrote this letter, it is because I told her to. I saw how hurt she was by the loss of my brother or sister and I figured that if she wrote her feelings down, maybe it would help her see what is right in front of her: she has people who love her that can help her go through this. And she has you."

Killian was in admiration of the young spirited lad who seemed to be maturing into a smart young adult.

"When did you become so wise?" Killian questioned, now smirking, as he was proud of his stepson.

"Sometime when I became the author, you know they say once you acquire magical powers, you actually become wiser" Henry was smirking as well but quickly became serious again when he gestured for them to sit down. He still wanted to help his mom out and he decided he was going to help fix whatever was going on between his Mom and Killian.

"Killian, I know you love my mom, and I know she loves you. I see how miserable she is without you and especially in such difficult times. I know you both need each other to overcome this, I believe that it is time you both stop running away from each other and finally sit down and talk it out. " Henry meant every word he said, he knew this is what they truly needed. He wanted to find his "real" mom again and not the emotional wreck she had become.

"Thank you lad, this means a lot to me, but you know that it is as much up to her as it is to me if she wants to even talk" Of course Killian wanted nothing more than to talk with Emma and make things right but he wasn't too sure she wanted it too. After all, she did not give him the letter, she had changed her mind.

"She listened to me once when she wrote the letter, I have faith she wants to make things right, otherwise she would not have written the letter. My mom is stronger than she seems even if she has some issues with trust and letting people in"

Killian seemed relieved when he heard Henry say those words and trusted his judgment. He decided that he did not want to bother the lad further with his issues.

"Why did you come here anyways, aren't you supposed to be at Regina's? "

"I was but I realized I forgot my Gameboy here and did not want to spend the whole weekend without it especially since I am on babysitting duty with baby Robin" Henry said as he motioned towards the Gameboy he was holding in his hands. Killian still struggled with modern day technology despite Henry's efforts to teach him. He simply decided that those bloody objects were not fit for someone who had a hook for a hand.

"Well I am glad I ran into you, you gave me the courage to do what I should have done a long time ago. I am going to wait for Emma to come home and we are going to talk this out" Killian now had a determined look on his face, Henry had convinced him that something needed to be done. They had fought for their love and won, they weren't about to lose it just like that.

Henry reached his hand towards Hook's and shook it while he said

"I wish you the best Killian, I hope it will work out"

Henry quickly left, his role of babysitter awaiting. Killian sat on the living room's couch and decided he would wait for Emma to come home to have "the talk".


	7. Please Stay

Killian was sitting nervously in the living room, looking every now and then out of the window to check if Emma was coming home. Some time had passed since he talked to Henry and the dark of the night was starting to settle. He thought Emma would have come home from the sheriff station by now, he remembered how she rushed home everyday when they were still living together. He refused to indulge in these somber thoughts and he decided to distract himself by playing on a game on his phone. He had tried rehearsing what he would tell her once she came home but somehow everything he attempted to formulate sounded weak and not right for the kind of conversation they were about to have. As he was swiping on his phone, playing subway surfers, he heard a car park in front of the house. He was quick to put his phone away and got up, unsure of what to do: open the door for her and surprise her or just sit down on the couch and still surprise her Thoughts were racing in his mind as he stood awkwardly still trying to figure out which solution was the best but he took to long to decide what to do as he heard the door open and shut.

"Killian?" Emma asked surprised to see him standing in the living room. They hadn't seen each other for a long time and at the sight of her husband her heart clenched. She just kept staring at him as he did the same and when finally she regained composure, her body acted before he mind could do anything about it.

She ran straight into Killian's embrace and wrapped her hands around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she felt his arms wrapping around her.

"Emma" Killian managed to breathe out. It was more a statement then him calling her by her name. It was the acknowledgment of her being back in his arms, a word that held a lot of weight, the weight of the past months of them not being with each other.

He had missed Emma and he could tell she had missed him by the way she was clutching onto him as if she was scared he would leave her.

The finally let go of each other and sat down on the couch their gaze never breaking apart. They knew what was coming, both of them realizing why they were finally here together in their home. Killian gathered all the courage he had and started talking, as his voice and tone got more serious:

"Emma, I think you know why I came here today. We need to talk about what happened between us for the last few months. " He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently as to give him courage to keep going. "The night of the accident was one of the worst nights of my life, I felt as if my world fell apart but it was nothing to what you probably felt. I was not supportive enough to begin with and for that I will never be able to forgive myself. Then we just drifted apart and with each day that passed I could only feel the void in my heart growing and at the time I didn't understand that we needed to support each other and not resent the other for something that happened, for something that was out of our control. And before you interrupt me, love, let me finish. I came here today to find you and talk to you but then I found a note in our room, and I couldn't quite understand why you never gave it to me. I need to understand, I need to know what is going on and how we can make things right" Killian had finished his sentence as he saw Emma tense up at his words. She took a deep breath and managed to answer:

"Killian, I realized that this hasn't been easy on the both of us, I have been selfish and tried to blame you for what happened, I needed to find someone to blame to try and cope with what had happened and I know I was wrong in doing so, I really hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me for that. Henry helped me with the letter, he said that writing things down would help me and it did at first but then I got scared, my walls went up and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle the fact that I had lost so much and hurt you in the process." A single tear rolled down her cheek. She had never been this vulnerable in front of him. She had shown him her vulnerable side many times but this was more than what they had ever experienced before, they were both realizing this was a next step in their relationship. Killian understood now why she couldn't get through with giving him the letter he knew her too well, he knew that in times of difficulty she tended to get her walls up and to run from her emotions. Although he knew that, his heart still ached at the fact that she didn't come to him and that she preferred running and hiding her emotions. When he wanted to burn his memories of the death of David's father she was the one to tell him to come to her and to lean on her, to work this out together.

"I understand Emma why you didn't go through with it but we need to stop running away from each other, we need to put our trust in each other. When we got married I promised you I would always be by your side and I failed. I need to know we can make it through and stop turning our back on each other. You are my wife and I am your husband, we need to support one another, through thick and through thin" Killian breathed out the last few words as Emma cupped his cheek with her hands and he leaned into her touch. She just looked at him, taking it all in, she had missed the feeling of being able to touch him. She did not want this moment to end, but she knew the conversation was not finished, she knew he was waiting for her to say something. She locked her eyes with his and shifted ever so slightly closer to him, not even realizing she was doing so. She took a deep breath and started talking, sure of her feelings. When she saw him standing in the living room, all her doubts and fears vanished and she just wanted things to go back to what they were.

"I love you. For now that is the only thing I am sure of. I know with all my heart that I love you and that love blinded me from seeing that I needed you. That you needed me. I know it will not be easy coming back from this but for right now, all I can give you my love and hope it is enough"

She had meant every word she managed to say but she was still scared it wouldn't be enough, that he needed more, to know that all of this was fixed, that they left all their scars in the past. She was quickly reassured when she felt him squeeze her hand and as she looked back up to meet his deep blue eyes he answered:

"I love you too. And our love will be more than enough for now. Let's just figure this out step by step. I am happy we talked about it. I missed you" He had whispered his last sentence. He stood up, ready to leave and go back to the Jolly Roger. As they both agreed they would take it slow, he decided to not push it and leave Emma her space. He made his way to the door and when he was turning the knob of the door he heard footsteps behind him and felt Emma wrap her arms around his waist, his back pressed to her. She got on her tiptoes and whispered in his ears:

"Please stay"


	8. Missing you

" Please stay" Emma had whispered in his ear. He didn't need to be asked twice to stay with her. He turned around and grabbed her hand as he walked them to the couch. He sat down and motioned for Emma to sit down next to him. She instantly snuggled up to him, burying he face in the crook of his neck as she rested her hand on his chest, enjoying feeling his steady heartbeat underneath her hand. Killian's arms were tightly wrapped around Emma as if he wanted to let her feel that he wasn't going anywhere, he was right here, right now just there to hold her, to love her. There was still so much to say but they chose to stay in a comfortable silent, savoring the feeling of finally being able to hold each other. After a while, Emma looked up at Killian and felt his gaze fall upon her.

"What is it, love? Would you rather I leave you alone? " Killian had asked, worried he had done something wrong with deciding to listen to her and stay here in her loving arms.

"No, Killian, of course not, I asked you to stay. I was just thinking"

"Thinking about what, love?" Killian asked, studying her face to see what she was thinking.

"I was just thinking that we should have done this sooner instead of running away from each other" Emma breathed out as she tightened her grip around Killian's arm as if to signify that she never wanted to let him go.

"Aye, love, I know what you mean"

He brought her ever closer to his chest and started laying sweet and gentle kisses in the crook of her neck. He worked his way up to her jaw and peppered her jawline with sweet kisses until her reached her lips. Emma's lips hovered over his, still not sure if this was a good idea but all warnings were forgotten when Killian breathed out a shaky "I missed you". All of her doubts went away and she finally captured his soft lips with hers in a slow and loving kiss. It was a kiss that meant I missed you too, it was the kind of kiss that you don't want to ever end, you want to keep the feeling of wholeness to last forever. It was the kiss that was meant to mend broken hearts, to forgive and forget. It was the kind of kiss that spoke louder than words, by the touch of lips, the love could be felt. They broke the kiss and Emma decided that she needed to be closer to him so straddled him as she leaned to his ear to whisper, "I missed you too". She had indented for her words to be full of love but another feeling slowly crept within her. She couldn't resist kissing his neck and slowly work her way back up to his ear and nibbled on his earlobe. She earned a groan in return from Killian who had wrapped his hand around her waist to get her closer to him. He needed to feel her lips on his; desperately needed to feel her love for him and to show her all the love he had for her. Emma stopped her ministrations on his ear to just take the time to look deeply into his sea blue eyes, take the time to enjoy the feeling of being with her husband, being able to show her love for him through physical means. Her eyes quickly drifted towards his lips and in an instant they were both caught up in a hot and passionate kiss. His tongue darted out, asking permission to get in, which she gladly did by parting her lips to allow him entrance. Their tongue both battling for dominance translated all the unspoken feelings that still lingered. Her hands were in his hair, desperately clinging onto them pushing him closer to her if it were even possible. They had to peel each other from one another before things got too heated. He rested his forehead on hers, his hands still tangled up in her blonde curls, both of them panting and trying to catch their breath from the kiss. 

"Emma, we shouldn't" Killian tried to argue as Emma got up and took his hand in hers and led them upstairs, making her way to their bedroom making also her intentions clear. She turned around to look at him with mischief in her eyes as she answered:

"I know"


	9. Bad Form

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This chapter is rated M for mature content!-

Emma woke up the next day with a small smile tugging at her lips. She was laying on her side and subtly shifted backwards feeling the warm body firmly pressed against her back. She sighed happily, wrapping his arms a bit closer to her, trying to get them even more pressed against each other if it were possible. She knew he was awake and boy was he awake she thought to herself when she felt his morning arousal pressing against her. Emma wanted to see how far he was willing to go this morning considering that Killian had put a stop to their activity the previous night, before things got too heated and got out of hand. He had stated that he felt still too guilty and wanted to wait for things to get back to normal before engaging into intimate relations. She tried to argue that she was ready, she had forgiven him but alas, as the gentleman he was, Killian stuck to his decision. She understood that there was more to it than just him wanted to take his time, she saw it in his eyes that he didn't tell her the whole truth as to why he wanted to wait but she accepted his half-lie. Emma had to content herself with sleeping in his arms just like old times. She wasn't complaining, she had truly missed the feeling of the steady heartbeat under her palm when they slept or the way he would whisper sweet nothings to her hear until she fell asleep. Except that this morning, Emma found herself wanting more than just chaste kisses , she missed him emotionally and physically. She wanted to honor Killian's requests because she would never want to hurt her husband, she respected and loved him too much for that. But her physical needs took her over and all she could think of was sex. Not making love, just the physical satisfaction of chasing her release and the pure bliss of pleasure. The act of making love required that both parties had their full and prompt attention turned towards the person they loved, with no walls, no secrets, no previous pains, just the two of them sharing the most intimate moment a man and a woman could share. So Emma decided to see how far she could push her pirate to find that sweet release she ached for badly. She took the lead and took Killian's hand to lead it to where she needed him the most, where she was clearly ready to meet him as she had been all worked up from the previous night. She heard a low grunt at her ear and she chuckled when he whispered in her ear "That is bad form Swan, I told you to be patient". The words that flew out of his mouth were indicating that he wanted to say no but the movement of his hand clearly was saying the opposite. Emma knew she was pushing her luck when she reached behind her to get a hold of his erection and stroked it teasingly. Their hands were moving in sync as they both let an involuntary moan slip out of their lips. The feeling was overwhelming for both of them, it was already so much but too little Emma was thinking. She tried to guide him to where she needed him the most, but Killian stilled his movements at once when he gathered what she was trying to achieve. "Emma, love, I am serious, I want to do this properly. There are still so many things we need to straighten out and talk about, I don't want to rush this". He had trouble finishing his sentence as Emma had picked up the pace of her hand wrapped around his erection which made it hard for Killian to concentrate and formulate a coherent sentence. "Having a hard time concentrating?" Emma asked innocently, putting an emphasis on the word hard. "Very funny, love, but your bad word plays won't get the best of me. I mean it, we should really stop this I don't want to take advantage of the situation before we get a chance to talk things out" Killian practically begged her, knowing he would be unable to stop himself if she kept going with her ministrations. Emma shifted around in his arms so she was facing him, taking in Killian in all his glory. As she was going to increase the speed, he quickly grabbed her hand in his and stopped her. And with a look that meant that he really didn't want this to stop he spoke softly, eyeing her lips eagerly: "Emma, please, don't make this any harder than it already it". They both went silent for a moment before bursting into laughter at his sentence full of unintentional innuendos. Once they got silent again, in a battle of heated gaze, testing which one of them would indulge in the feeling of the other first but they both didn't want to break contact. "Emma," Killian started talking but she silenced him with a slow and lazy kiss, which he answered by grabbing her hip and bringing her closer to his chest, so they were chest to chest, her breast grazing at his chest hair. He was drawing lazy patterns on her hip and she decided to be bold and pushed him on his back as she threw one of her leg across his thighs. "Careful, love, you are playing with fire" She didn't seem to be too bothered by his comment as she kissed him again with more purpose this time. He answered by a groan when she went to straddle him just below where she needed him and where she knew he wanted her to be. Naturally his hands rested at her side and he brought her down on him so they were close once more. It took him all the energy he had within him to actually break the kiss and look at her in her eyes. Those mesmerizing green eyes he longed to gaze into since the day they had met in the enchanted forest. He got lost in his thoughts remembering all that they had gone through over the years and yet they still found a way back to each other. Like a moth drawn to a flame, they couldn't be apart for too long, the emotional ties that held them together were so strong that even in the darkest of times in their relationship, they always found each other. They had fought for their love and won. They were true love. Realization hit Killian as he snapped out of his haze "Emma, I really cannot do this, please love, I don't want to rush this". He pushed her off of him and pulled the covers to stand up and quickly put his boxer on. Emma was left in the empty bed, a bit disappointed and left wondering if she had done something wrong, if she had taken things too far, if she had ruined everything between them. Before she even had the time to answer him, he was already rushing out of the room and going downstairs. She flopped back on the bed, wanting to scream out of frustration and out of sadness. She held so much love for this man and she let her physical needs cloud her judgment. She wanted to desperately fix what was broken in their marriage and she figured that she was doing a bad job at it. She allowed herself another moment before she pushed back the blankets and got up to meet him downstairs, quickly slipping on a robe. She found him downstairs, sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his hands, clearly thinking about what would have happened if he hadn't put a stop to it. Emma sat down next to him and urged him to look at her as she gently took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers together. With a low and serious voice, all needs set aside, she spoke softly

"I think we need to talk"


	10. Slowly then all at once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Author's note: I am rating this chapter M just because of words that might shock a younger audience, and due to some explicit language- I also added a little nod to The Fault in Our Stars! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!-

"I agree with you, I think it is time we sit down and actually talk it out, Swan. We cannot keep doing whatever it is we are doing" Killian had said, turning to face Emma, with nothing but seriousness written all across his face. He had stopped their activities because he knew he didn't want to have her while things were still messed up between them, he wanted to be the gentleman he vowed to be to her and he believed that in order to fix their marriage, they needed to talk about what happened and not dive straight into the physical part of the relationship, the sexual attraction that they knew they both craved but were aware enough to know it wasn't the best course of action to indulge in yet. 

"Killian, I need to take this from the start, understand what went wrong. The night I lost the baby, was the worst night of my life, you had just said that you didn't want to have a chid with me at the moment and the next thing I knew, I was losing my baby before I even met him or her. I was devastated and to be quite honest, I didn't want to see you in that instant, a selfish part of me wanted to blame you. I needed to make sense of what occurred and somehow I needed to find someone to blame because it didn't make sense to me that I could be ripped apart from happiness in such ways. I was feeling as if the words you spoke that night had cursed me and somehow the prophecy came true. And I know it is selfish of me to think this way" Emma said those words tightening her grip on Killian's hand as she felt him tense at her words. She wanted to be strong during this talk but who was she kidding, when it came to Killian, she was all too emotional and tears threatened to fall as she gathered the courage to continue before Killian interrupted her and started talking: 

"Love, it was never in my intention to hurt you with my words, I cannot forgive myself for what has happened and I can only blame myself for the loss of our child. A child that I didn't know existed before he was already gone. But, love, believe me when I say that I loved this child more than anything even after he was gone. A little miracle created from our love, taken too soon. And Emma, of course I loved being just the two of us, enjoying married life without any crisis, but I never meant to hurt you by saying that I only wanted it to be the two of us. I was weak that night at the hospital, when you needed me the most, I was a coward because of my actions, because I felt responsible for what happened. Until this day I dare not look myself in the mirror as I don't see the man I want to be, the husband you deserve to have, Swan"

Killian never said those words out loud, and somehow out loud, it made the situation more real. Before that, they were just thoughts in his head that he tried to push away, however out there in the open, those words were heavy and their weights was resting on his shoulder like a burden. He was speaking the truth and she saw that in his eyes, she saw all the hurt and guilt that had been eating him alive ever since that night that one could qualify as a night straight from hell. 

"Killian, I understand now that I cannot blame you or anyone else for that matter and you have to stop blaming yourself too. We haven't handled things the way we should have: together. This is what our family does: we solve problems together. When we got married I promised you to love and hold you for all eternity and I intend to do so. We need to work on what we have built together in order to let it grow" 

Emma's heart constricted at the realisation that she built something with the man she loved. Never in a million years did she imagine she would spend her life with someone and share her life with them, opening up to them and letting them bring her walls down, one by one. Tears started to stream down her face as she untangled their hands and she cupped his cheeks with her hands as she looked deeply in his troubled sea blue eyes. She could see all the hurt he was carrying since the accident, and the hurt she inflicted him as well, she was very well aware that they both hurt each other indirectly by pushing one another away during this dark period of their lives. 

"Swan, I want to be a better man for you, I want you to forgive me for all that I have done and all that I have failed to do for you. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves together, I want us to love each other in all honesty."

Emma was never one for big speeches or even big romantic gestures, it scared her to not be able to find the rights words so she did what showed her love and affection for her pirate. She leaned in to kiss him softly as she was still holding his face gently, silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She poured all of her love for him into the kiss, trying to make him understand that she wanted this, she wanted to be the best version of herself with him. She was hoping the kiss would be enough for him. At least for now. 

Killian seemed to understand as he pulled away to look into her eyes, putting a strand of her hair back with his hook, and gently caressing her cheek with his good hand. He always knew when to say something and when it was better to just enjoy the moment and not push her. 

Emma took a deep breath, happy he understood the message she was trying to convey, and then started to chuckle as she realised that instants earlier, they were about to engage in other types of activities than a serious heart to heart. 

"What is it, Swan, what is so funny ?" Killian asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly confused as to why his wife found it so funny that they had just shared an emotional kiss.

"I'm sorry, Killian, it's just that not even 15 minutes ago I had your dick in my hand and yet here we are, talking about serious stuff and I don't know I guess it made me laugh how we can go from the sexual spiral to the emotional and serious spiral" At this point, Emma couldn't keep a straight face at the realisation of what she said and saw her pirate trying to keep it together but failed miserably as he also joined her in a fit of giggles.

Killian took a minute to recompose himself and took Emma's hand in his before he said: "I am happy we talked it out, love, although I realise it will take some time, I reckon we take it step by step. What do you say love, join me in this ?" 

Emma was in awe of her husband's wise words and she had no other choice but to agree with him. 

"I think you are right, it is best if we take this slow. Killian, I also wanted to apologise for earlier, I got carried away and never intended to push you, I realise it now it was wrong of me, I shouldn't have my desire cloud my judgment, I am sorry" Emma said while she squeezed his and looked apologetically at him, really meaning every word. She got carried away and if they wanted to take this slow, she needed to make sure he was comfortable with the pace and not rush him into something he didn't feel at ease with. 

"Emma, you don't have to apologise, I get why you did what you did, and frankly it took every ounce of energy to push you away, trust me, it was not easy" Killian said mischievously as he grinned proudly at his wife, knowing very well the effect he had on her and vice versa. 

Their relationship was one of love and lust, and when they both were enthralled with one another there was no saying where it would lead them. They loved each other and that transpired also when they met physically. However, as great as the attraction was, they both understood it was better to wait and to mend all the wounds and scars left from the pain than to rush into a physical relationship.

"Let's just agree not to tease each other, how about that ?" Emma asked with a small smirk dancing on her lips, intending to keep her word to the best of her abilities. 

"Aye love, it's a deal" he answered, not sure he could keep up his end of the bargain but loved and respected Emma too much to do something against her will. 

To seal the deal and to signal the end of the discussion, their lips met once more. They deepened the kiss and surely enough they got caught up in the love that the other put in the kiss. They kissed the way you fall in love: slowly then all at once.


	11. Date Night

Three weeks had passed since their talk and as they both had agreed to take their time when it came to their relationship, they took it one step at a time. Killian had moved back in their home after all because, even though they were taking things slow, they couldn't bear to live apart. They were the extension of the other, one could not live without the other, and if anything, the last months had taught them that being separated from each other only made them miserable. However, Killian as the gentleman he was, insisted on sleeping on the couch and to court Emma properly (again). Emma pouted and tried to convince her husband that it wasn't necessary, that they were already married after all, but Killian didn't budge and joked that he would win her all over again. She had to admit that after all they had gone through, it felt nice to feel like things were getting back to normal and to build their relationship from scratch (without forgetting the past but rather learning from it). Emma decided thus to play along with Killian in his courting and came up with the idea of putting quiet dates ideas in a jar and to pick one idea whenever they felt that they needed to escape their daily lives and just enjoy the company of the other. Emma was the first one to pick out a card on a Tuesday night, she read on it: "visit a museum together". Storybrooke only possessed the Storybrooke public museum where it retraced the history of the city, the different curses and where you could map out your own family tree (for some reason, Dopey was really good at retracing your family tree and helping out Storybrooke citizens to understand who your family is). She had an idea of how to make their date a little bit more exciting.

"Where are you taking us today, Swan?" Killian asked as he sat on the passenger seat of the yellow bug, his hand instinctively reaching for Emma's while they started to drive.

"Killian, you do understand that if I tell you, it won't be a surprise anymore?" Emma joked as she squeezed his hand gently, to make him understand that she wasn't mocking him but rather teasing him (something she had learned to love over the years with him, teasing Killian was her favorite activity with him, besides kissing him of course).

"All right, all right, I'll behave, but you have to promise me that this date has nothing to do with one of Henry's bloody game boxes that are magically controlled by those horrific things only two handed people can use" He stated, obviously still traumatized from his experience, trying to play with Henry on his Playstation, which ended up in a very frustrated Killian and a grinning Henry that won every game they played. Emma took her eyes of the road to take a moment to look at her husband who was clearly still upset about the whole PSP situation and decided now was a good time to crack a joke to lighten the mood in order to have a nice date.

Emma had a smirk plastered on her face and tried her best to stay serious as she casually told him:

"Don't worry Killian, when we get home, I will make sure to play with your joystick"

The look her gave her was so comical that they both ended up in a fit of laughter, unable to contain themselves and their laughs kept on going as they looked at each other.

"Love, just turn the car around and let's go home, I have a sudden urge to play those video games" Killian said as he wiggled his eyebrows at her in a suggestive way, having other plans in mind now that his interest was peaked. They parked the car in the museum's parking lot and Emma turned to him and said:

"Babe, I promise you it will come in good times but I put a lot of time to plan this and I want it to go perfectly, I just want our date to be nice and to be able to relax with and... " Before she could go on with her rant, Killian silenced her with a sweet kiss, meaning that she was rambling on and that everything was okay.

"Emma, I would love nothing more than to go on this date with you, I want you to show me what you have prepared for us, the rest will come later" He was still cupping her face with his good hand and looked deeply in her eyes with all the love he held for her.

"Let's get going then" She grabbed his good hand and intertwined their fingers together leading them to the entrance of the museum.

The museum seemed to be empty except for the two of them. Killian started to wonder if she actually requested that the museum would be theirs for their date and looked at her in awe as they made their way to the first exhibit. The usual exhibits at the Storybrooke museum retraced the events of the first curse and the life of the habitants under their curse persona as well as the other curses that followed and the villains that destroyed city property (Dopey managed to find before/after pictures of well-known city places before/after villain). Killian had visited the museum before and was familiar with what was exposed in it, however, this time, something felt different, he didn't recognize the usual exhibit.

"Swan, are you sure this is where we are supposed to be? This doesn't look like what I visited last time " Killian asked a bit concerned that they were somewhere they weren't supposed to be, but he instantly relaxed when he saw a playful smile on Emma's lips.

"Babe, look closely to what is on the walls" She urged him to get closer to the wall where there were pictures hanging and text next to them.

"But why....oh!" Surprise took him over when he realized why the exhibit was different.

The pictures retraced Emma and Killian's story since the beginning. The first picture was hand drawn and represented a beanstalk, next to it was a text with Emma's delicate handwriting, describing their first adventure on the beanstalk. In fact the whole museum was filled with either pictures or drawings of important moments in their lives and even just the quiet moments (a polaroid selfie of them drinking coffee at Granny's) with an explanation of each of them next to it, carefully handwritten by Emma. When they came to the section of the museum where the pictures retraced their wedding day, Emma couldn't help herself, she needed to hold her husband close to her and to remember with him the most beautiful day in their lives. He held her close as he marveled at a picture of them on their wedding day, a picture he hadn't seen yet.

"Love, you look beautiful in this picture 

"Love, you look beautiful in this picture. Can I take it with me? Do you think it counts as stealing from a museum if I take what is mine?" Killian asked with mischief in his eyes.

Emma laughed and had the same look in her eyes as she answered him:

"Let me check with the owner of this piece of art. Um no she says she doesn't mind and won't call the police however there is one condition"

"What would that be, love?"

She turned to him and ran her hands up and down his chest as she tilted her head to the side and said seductively:

"She will arrest you and put you herself in handcuffs, because you stole art from a museum after all"

Killian couldn't resist his wife when she was all flirty and he leaned in for a kiss to signify that he wouldn't be against it as he understood very well that this theft was serious.

"Umm seems fair, love, I am a criminal after all"

They finished the visit at the museum with one last surprise that Emma had prepared with the help of Dopey (surprisingly enough, communicating with him went smoothly). They got to the genealogy part of the museum where Emma had prepared a memorial for an important member of Killian's life. She had retraced a family tree for Killian where his brother, Liam held the place of honor. She knew how much he meant to her husband and wanted to make something special to remember him. Killian was so moved by her gesture that he wasn't able to put his thoughts into words, so he just preferred to say silent and to squeeze her hand to signify that he was touched by her action.

The date was a success and seemed to rekindle their love in a stronger way that they could have imagined. And of course, after their date, Emma kept her promise and played with his joystick and Killian was an obedient criminal that needed to be handcuffed. Right before they fell asleep, Killian asked sleepily against her shoulder:

"Will you go out with me?"

Emma turned in his embrace to mumble against his lips a quick answer before she fell asleep:

"I love you babe, but it is freezing outside, stay in here with me"

Killian couldn't help but chuckle at his sleepy wife who seemed to be dozing off

"I meant going on a date with me, love"

Suddenly Emma seemed more awake and let him know she would be delighted to go out with him with a slow kiss against his lips. Killian had picked out of the "date ideas jar" a paper that had written on it: go to the library. He knew that if he wanted to give Emma a good time, he needed to do more than just go to the library. An idea started blooming and made a mental note to himself to seek Belle's help in the morning to make their date as perfect as possible. That night, they fell asleep peacefully in each other's embrace feeling the love radiating from one another.

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

"Killian, what do I need to wear? Are we going to be outside? I need to know because you know that I hate being cold! Where are we going ?"

Emma was in front of her mirror, applying light makeup, not sure as to where they would go for the date Killian had been planning.

"Love, to quote your own words, if I tell you, it won't be a surprise anymore" Kilian answered, grinning at her as she just rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Whatever you wear, you will look amazing in it anyways, but you don't need to be dressed particularly warm, love, and if you get cold, I am here to warm you up" He finished his sentence by placing a gentle kiss at the top of her head as she finished getting ready.

Because Killian was still in the process of learning how to drive (Killian always seemed to be rather more interested in the blonde driving instructor than in the actual driving), they decided to walk. When they arrived at their destination, Emma questioned him with a look and he just lead her inside the library.

"So captain, what have you in store today?" Emma was curious to know what he had prepared as she was looking around to discover that the library looked as it usually did.

"Why, story time of course" He answered playfully, as he had prepared something more special than regular story time. "Swan, I will need you to follow the instructions on this paper, trust me, it will make your library experience a lot more exciting" He handed her a piece of paper where he had written steps on them. Belle had helped him plan all of this and he was thankful she knew this library so well as she helped him locate some precious books.

Emma followed carefully the instruction on the paper and picked out three books on shelves, however the books where wrapped in paper so that she couldn't see which ones they were. Once she had the three books in hand, she did as the paper told her to do and she followed the arrows on the ground. She laughed to herself as she recognized the color of the marker that they had at home and could picture Killian on the ground drawing every single arrow on the floor of the library. The arrows finally led them to the clock tower on top of the library where Killian had prepared a surprise.

"Killian, did you do all of this?" Emma asked in awe at the sight in front of her. The top of the clock tower was filled with comfortable blankets and pillows splayed out in such a way that when sitting down, it offered a beautiful view of Storybrooke. There were two glasses of champagne alongside a bottle of the nicest champagne (and a little flask of rum).

"Aye, love, I believe you call this a blanket fort in your world, right?" He looked at her, trying to have the approval that indeed what he built was a blanket fort. Emma was overwhelmed by emotions that she dropped the books she was carrying to get on her tip toes to kiss her husband.

"Enough distractions, love, I want to blow you away with the rest of what I have planned! Here, let's settle down and open one of the books" He motioned for them to sit down, their backs against the railing but Emma found a better spot between Killian's legs as she rested her back against his chest. He poured them a glass of champagne as she opened the first book.

"The princess bride, really?" Emma asked, half amused, half touched at the gesture, as she discovered an old edition of the book under the wrapping.

"Belle suggested this was a good book so I read it at the station when you were out on patrol and I thought the story in the book was similar to our story, love" He answered as he wrapped his arms around her waist and managed to snatch the book out of her hands and started reading the book to her. When he got to the part where the book explained that when the pirate said "as you wish", he actually meant "I love you", Emma couldn't help but smile as she remembered when he had told her these exact words after they shared their first kiss in Neverland. Who would have guessed that their first kiss would lead to so much more ?

When he finished the book, Emma was touched that he chose to read her this book as it reminded her of their love story.

"What now?" She asked, as she readjusted her position, so she was even more comfortable in his embrace.

"Now, you open another book, you have the choice between two" Killian gestured at the two books resting on the blankets, one was thicker than the other. Emma opted for the smaller one and ripped the wrapping apart and burst into a fit of laughter when she saw what the second book was.

"Peter Pan? Babe, you can't be serious" Emma tried to focus on the book but couldn't help laughing at the cover of the book where Killian had pasted a picture of his face on top of Hook's.

"Aye, I couldn't be more serious. We are going to read this nonsense and I'm going to tell you how things actually went down between the crocodile and I. And let me tell you that I am way more dashing than this fake Hook could ever be" He said that proudly as he started reading to her once more.

They managed to get through the whole book even if it was a difficult task as both of them were laughing so much at the silliness of the situation and the comparison between the two Hooks. They were getting a bit tipsy due to the champagne they were sipping on which only increased their laughs. The champagne had that effect but they were also and most definitely drunk in love.

"Come on, love, you have one more book to open and you actually saved the best one for the end" He picked up the last book and handed it over to her.

"This one feels a lot like Henry's storybook, are you sure you didn't just give that one to me?" Emma asked as she recognized the familiar form and weight of the storybook however, when she unwrapped it, she saw a book that looked exactly like Henry's but instead of having "Once Upon A Time" written across the cover, there was something else written on it.

"Our Happy Beginning" Emma read out loud as tears started to form in her eyes. She opened the book and went through every single page where each page was filled with pictures and love letters from her husband Killian. When she turned to the last page, soft tears were streaming down her face as she felt Killian's grip tighten at her waist.

"I left the last page blank on purpose." Killian started to explain as he brushed the blank page with his hand. "I want us to use this blank page as our new beginning, to remind ourselves that life is a blank canvas and that we fill it as we live, that the memories we make will appear on this blank page. I want this blank page to symbolize that we can always go forward, that our love will be stronger than anything. I love you Emma and if you will, would you share this blank page with me?"

Emma turned around in his arms so that she was facing him and cupped his cheeks with both of her hands as she leaned close to his lips, she breathed out a shaky "Yes" before capturing his lips in a slow and tender kiss. Killian made a mental note that he totally won with his awesome date (even though it wasn't a competition,in his mind he still won)and that he would have to thank Belle later but for now, he poured all of his love in this kiss to show his wife that he meant every word.


	12. Happy Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -well what can I say? This is the end of this book! It's actually the first book I manage to finish ahaha! I had started this books years ago and just wrote here and there and I decided it was finally time to give these two a happy ending! I hope you liked this book and that it brought you joy while you read it!-

A lot can change in an instant, or even in a second. One second you're there, the next one you're gone. So imagine what can change in a year. One second they were two, the next they were going to be three. Allow me to explain what this means. After going back to their routines of going on quiet dates together, Killian and Emma rekindled their love and it was stronger than ever. With the help of their parents, they set their differences aside. They asked for Archie's help when things got tough and the cricket was right: time heals all wounds. Emma and Killian realized they needed time to heal and once they both went through the process, it was as if they had grown together and became stronger from their past. 

Emma didn't want to believe it at first when she was throwing up for the fourth time this week. Emma Swan was not someone who got ill easily and she didn't throw up a lot. She didn't want to believe it either when she looked at the calendar and saw the date. Deep down she knew the signs (she had gone through them once before) but she wasn't ready to accept them yet (the trauma was still present). 

Snow White being as subtle as she was, subtly suggested to her daughter that perhaps it was time to take a test (and by subtly, I mean Snow literally shoved a pregnancy test in her daughter's hands along with a big bottle of water). Emma was feeling all kinds of emotions during that one minute wait: anxiousness, excitement, terror, hope. And only one feeling overcame her when the test came back positive: happiness. Tears of happiness were streaming down her face as she instinctively placed a hand on her stomach. Killian and her weren't trying for a baby per se, but the fact that they were granted this second chance at love, at life and at family was something Emma could have never imagined. 

The day Emma told her husband she was pregnant was the third and last time she saw him cry and she was damn happy they were tears of joy. Killian Jones never thought in his centuries of living that he would get yet another chance to prove to the world and to himself that he was the better man he promised to be. 

During the 9 months of the pregnancy, Emma and Killian did everything in their power to ensure the baby's safety but also made sure to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. Their love for one another and for their unborn child was radiating from them and the population of Storybrooke couldn't help but admire this beautiful family to be. 

The day she was born was the day Emma and Killian knew life was beautiful and precious. They knew Hope was their very own second chance in the form of a tiny, perfect, blonde, blue eyed baby. If you asked today either Emma or Killian if they would do it all over again, they would both say they would walk through hell again just to be able to hold their daughter, Hope in their arms. 

And just like that, death was conquered by life, darkness was vanished by light and life is made up of second chances. 

 

The End.


End file.
